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Why Love?

The sky is getting darker and darker. Birds are flying back to their nests. Everything is going to be ended for a day, but that is not right for the boy, James. He is pacing along the canal near his house as if he is losing his mind. His face is flooded by tears, but he is not crying. Then he walks to a farm behind his house and shouts, "Why donít you understand me? Why do you go away from me?" The gloomy voice is conduced by cold wind through big farms. He does not want anyone to hear or know his grief except her; however, it is impossible. She is not his girlfriend any more, particularly, she does not care about him. He kneels down on a dike and hits his head on the ground. He is crying like a baby. He forgets that he is a man who never cries for only a girl, but he really misses her because, certainly, he loves her. The fading sunshine is decorating the canopy and the rice farm. Crows are flying and screaming though the sky. The atmosphere is fearful and lonely, especially for James. He has no idea how to go out of the darkness that is going to cover his world.

It took place in a high school in Thailand. James was close to Jane because they talked and played together. When Jane wanted to go out, James would offer to take her to that places. He felt happy to be with her on his motorbike. In the school James usually followed Jane to many places, and they were in the same class too. Their relationship got closer as time passed, and Jane felt that James was a best friend for her. He could advise her and take care of her. Jane respected and admired James as a good brother, so she tried to know him more. James, as a young boy who did not know much about love, realized that his heart was attacked by her. He had never been near any girl before, so he thought about her more than friend. New Year day came, there was a small party in Janeís house. Certainly, James was waiting to be with her in the party, and, fortunately, she invited him to go to the party.

Most of the time on the day, James was watching her and helped her to go shopping. During night he offered to take her to the market in the town by his own motorbike. He was happy to be near her and certainly she was too. But she was happy to have him as a good friend and a good brother. James was successful on the day and had more hope to know her better. He thought that she was thinking about him as a special friend in spite of she treated everyone in the same way. This thought made him sick later. Two weeks before Jane had many chances to be with James, because she wanted him to be her adviser because she had some problem with her cousin. So after that after she solved the problems, she was far away from James and tried to be with other friends. Certainly, she showed her attractiveness to others the same as she did to James.

Subsequently, James was farther from her not only she wanted to have time with her friends, but he also had to concentrate on studying. He realized more about his heart that it was concerned to hers. He always thought about her even though he tried to stop it. Unsurprisingly, it hurt him. Jane continued her usual characteristic to other male friends. Her big eyes and sweet smiles even injured Jamesís heart more when she gave them to others. He felt losing something he used to have to his friends. James could not stand that situation, so he knew that he could not get along with her. He had to go away from her.

Three days later after James had decided to avoid seeing her, Jane was in Jamesís house to talk to Jamesís friend about the reason that James did not talk to her again. She was concerned that she was losing her best friend because she noticed that James tried to avoid seeing her. James could not tell her himself, he still hurt to talk and to see her. So he sent his friend, Kas, to talk to her. Kas told her that James loved her, but James did not want to tell her because he did not want to bring sadness to her. He realized that he could not get long with her, and they would eventually break up, which was not a good solution for both of them. Kas compromised that there were only two ways for her to choose: being his boyfriend or pretending as if she did not know him at all.

The decision was hard to Jane. She admired him as a brother and a close friend, she never thought about him as a boyfriend. She was too young to have love, and she had to study. She only wanted to have many friends and be happy with them. But James would make her choose between him and other friends. She knew that if she were his girlfriend, she would have less chance to play with her friends. She had to choose between her friends and him; however, James was a good friend for her, which was hard for her to decide. The gloomy atmosphere was covering the sky and even in her bed room, she could not sleep and cried all night.

The next morning came, James knew his situation well. He tried to make up his mind and get ready for accepting the consequence. He called Jane about noon to asked her and say sorry. She told him that she would go to talk to him about one in his house again. Jane came to Jamesís house with her friend by a motorbike. She sat in front of his house and talked to him. One line that she wanted to tell him was, "I really love friendship more than any other kinds of relationships, and I am very disappointed about you because you betray our friendship."

After this speech, Jane went out to her friend waiting outside the house. James understood everything and turned back going into his house. The engine was started, she was going to leave him. Suddenly, she called him to get something from her hand. It was a candy which was wet because she had held it for a long time. She was afraid to give it to him. Actually, she just decided to give him the candy. The candy was a special symbol because it was a red heart-shaped candy, called Heartbeat. It was the meaning of love.